(via Miscellaneous Heathen)

Mr. Ironside, who had his own page in the yearbook, had been elected valedictorian in a vote carefully orchestrated by his peers and designed to embarrass him.

But when graduation night arrived, he gave a speech that transformed a malicious high school joke into an ad libbed sequel to Revenge of the Nerds.

Dissing your stupid high school classmates is always cool, but what the heck is going wrong with a world when Valedictorian is an elected position? Isn't that title supposed to be for the kid with the best grades?